That Perfect Girl Is Gone
by newyork13
Summary: He loved her, he loves her, he hurt her, he was protecting her. So when Eddie choose to come back to him, even after all the humiliation he caused her, Jamie's knows his world will crumble around him. If she is with him, she will become the target of every CPA in the city. - A Jamie and Eddie story inspired by 'Let It Go' from Disney's 2013 Academy Award winning film Frozen.
1. Chapter 1

Since he'd made Detective she'd started avoiding him, like he was a bad smell she wanted to escape. Jamie couldn't really blame her though, he had to blame himself. He'd seriously fouled up when he told her they wouldn't be partners anymore. To this day neither Anthony Renzulli nor his new partner Izaak Donnelley would let him, Jamie Reagan, forget that he deserved the slap he got, from Eddie in the middle of the precinct. So, yeah, maybe he shouldn't have said he didn't love her and that's what made him push for his promotion. The honest truth was he did love her and he said, what he said, to protect her but no one knew that but him, his older brother and the Commissioner. From the moment Eddie Janko was partnered to him, one week out of the academy, she became the target of every Reagan hater in the city and when she was threatened the only way he could protect her, was to break her.

* * *

He saw her across the reception of the 12th precinct, causing the two steaming cups of coffee to slip from his hands and cascade like waterfalls against the cement floor.  
"Reagan, what the hell?! I said coffee in a cup not on the freaking floor!" Izaak Donnelley was a hard case on the job. Too much like Danny for Jamie's liking, but because he knew Danny inside and out Jamie was able to tolerate Donnelley's hot headedness.  
"Just shut up okay. I don't need this not today. Okay?" Izaak raised his hands in a surrendering gesture – also to sarcastic like Vinny which made him upset. "Look I didn't mean anything against you okay. I just like my morning coffee from the guy on the corner in a cup, not all over the precinct floor. How'd it end up on the floor anyway?"  
Jamie motioned his head to where Eddie was heading out the door with her new partner Benji Rizzo; a transfer in from the two-four and Jamie's worst nightmare. Rizzo threatened every chance Jamie may have had to mend his relationship with Eddie, but when those feelings arose he had to let them go because he'd humiliated both of them in front of the entire precinct to protect her. Benji could give her the love she deserved if he wanted to and for the sake of his humanity Jamie wished he would; even though he truly hated him.  
"You know you could try saying sorry and I dunno roses, a movie, pizza dinner, chocolate – chocolate always works," Izaak suggested.  
Jamie shook his head sadly, "There is no point to upset her again. Easier for us to both move on."  
"You ever gonna every let go of why you broke up with her when you clearly loved her?" "  
I loved her. She was my partner. It wasn't professional, end of story Izaak."  
The glare he earned from Izaak said he knew he was lying but the words he spoke where those of sympathy, "You'll tell me when you're ready won't you? I want to help you Jamie, that's what Partners are for."  
Jamie knew what he'd like to say but he couldn't, "You'll know when you know, but it won't be me telling you it'll be the Commissioner."  
Izaak who had been walking beside Jamie halted abruptly, "You're not joking are you Jame?"  
Jamie turned around and shook his headed, "I never joke when it comes to the Commissioner. My Dad however is a different story."  
Izaak motioned towards the door, "We've got no cases on our desks and no trials to give testimony at. Coffee and breakfast on me at Grimmy's."  
An offer like that even Jamie couldn't refuse.

* * *

_**I'm sorry I disappeared, I'm a senior this year and I'm not enjoying it. **_

_**Anyway I hope you enjoy this story and please review.**_

_**K.x**_


	2. Chapter 2

She glared out the window of the cruiser into oblivion. She didn't function like a normal person anymore. Each morning she got up, had a shower, got dressed, ate breakfast and went to work, the same could be said for the night shift. Either way it was just a routine to pass the time, to forget that the man she loved didn't love her back.

"Hey Ed, you okay?" Eddie snapped back to reality at the sound of Rizzo's voice. He was a competent partner, good at what he did and certainly the better cop in the partnership. God she didn't even know if she enjoyed this job anymore. Maybe she did, but it wasn't the same without Jamie to keep her company.

"I'm fine. Just fine, nothing wrong Rizzo nothing at all."

By the way Rizzo was looking at her, he wasn't convinced at all. "Just tell me when you're ready. Whatever the problem is I'll help you."

Eddie forced a grin, "Build me a time machine and we'll see."

"Well I don't know -" Rizzo began, just as the dispatchers voice crackled through the radio.

_"10-50 reported on level eight of the Vince Housing Apartments. Please respond. Over."_

Eddie huffed, pulling her radio closer to her mouth. "10-4, Patrol 4 responding. Over"

"I bet you twenty bucks it's those kids from the Bitterman Houses causing trouble again," Rizzo chuckled.

Despite everything Eddie couldn't turn down a bet, "I say it's the protest group that's been terrorising the Commissioner. They apparently own an apartment from which they work out of."

The breaks slammed on jolting both Eddie and Rizzo forward.

"RIZZO, WHAT THE FREAKING HELL WAS THAT?!"

Rizzo tried but failed to sulk into his seat as he regained control of the Cruiser, "I was stamping my foot but forget I was driving."

"I give you permission to swear when you're wrong. I don't want either of us flying through the Cruiser window; it's new."

* * *

Renzulli's voice rang out across the squad room as Jamie and Izaak entered, "Reagan, Donnelley. Sargent I-Think-I'm-Better-Than-Everyone-Else wanted me to tell you that he wants you down at the Vince Housing Apartments there has been an officer involved shooting. Two dead, three critically injured, one with a broken arm and four perps in Custody."

"I'll get the car!" Izaak said ecstatically fleeing the room quicker than a bullet train.

Renzulli watched Izaak with amazement, "You sure you'd rather work with him than me on the beat?"

Jamie shrugged, "He's a mix of you, Danny, Vinnie and, and Eddie."

"You know what you did-"

"I know what I did was stupid and I deserved to get slapped."

"No kid. What you did was brave, you think I didn't go to the Commissioner and ask him what the hell was up. There isn't a single person in this precinct, kid, that doesn't know that you having feelings for Janko and that she would return them in a heartbeat."

Swallowing back everything he wanted to interrogate Renzulli about he asked a simple question, "If you went to my Dad you'd know why I can't love her."

"I went to the Commissioner Kid and let him say his piece. So, I know that Janko will have a target on head if you choose to love her. Your Dad on the other hand, I know would place the two of you in protective custody in a heartbeat; if it gave the two of you the opportunity be happy. Though I know you turned that down for Janko's sake to."

"It's better for me to suffer, than for both of us to."

"It seems I taught you well."  
"You did Sarge. I better go before Izaak gets mad and demands I buy the coffee and donuts."

"Jamie there is one more thing. The shooting…Janko was involved."

Jamie clammed up. Shit.

* * *

**A/N - I'm sorry this took me so long to post, my laptop kinda broke (sorta) so I couldn't access any word document files and the chapter was already half written so I couldn't write it on notepad. So please review and tell me if this chapter was good or not. Also if someone knows the name of the protest group, please tell me I can't remember.**

_**K. x**_


	3. Chapter 3

He grabbed Eddie by the arm and dragged her into the supply closet of the precinct, slamming the door shut

"Reagan what the hell! Let me out, you had no right, no right!" Eddie yelled.

"What the hell? What the hell was the shooting Eddie, at the Vince Housing Apartment's? You went in without your partner; you've been on the job nearly three years I taught you day one not to go anywhere without your partner."

Eddie guffawed at Jamie's response, "You don't think I know about what happened when you caught the perp who attacked your Grandpa? Don't preach what you don't practice Reagan."

Jamie clamped his hands behind his head and took a deep breath, "Don't Eddie, just don't. I learnt from my mistakes that day and we both learnt when you nearly got kicked off the job. This isn't either of those times though. You and Rizzo responded to a 10-50 which can mean numerous things, including a gunshot, so tell me why you went in without Rizzo?"  
"I didn't go in without Rizzo he went in without me! That's how he got killed Jamie, I took the fall okay, I AM TAKING THE FALL FOR HIS MISTAKE, I FAKED HIS CAUSE OF DEATH TO SAVE HIS DEAD ARSE, I MOVED HIS BODY!" Eddie pushed past Jamie and slammed the closet door in his face on her way out.

* * *

He found Eddie sitting on the steps out the back of the 12th Precinct, fiddling with her badge.

"Eddie can we talk?" Jamie asked gently knowing that she could easily blow up at him again.

She laughed, "You want to talk? All that leads to these days is me being mortally embarrassed in front of the entire Precinct. You didn't see the faces I saw when I came out of the supply closet Reagan."

He sat down next to her on the steps, "I saw them Ed. I also saw them the day you slapped me."

She laughed again but this one was laced with joy, "Good. You deserved it to Reagan, what you did was completely juvenile."

If you only knew Eddie, Jamie thought.

"You don't seem to be taking it as badly as I thought?"

Eddie shrugged looking out over the car park, "I was hurt when you first did it Rea-Jamie, I, I thought you loved me the way I loved you. Seems like I was wrong again, so I pick idiotic academy friends, abusers and the mentor. Maybe I'm in luck with the next person bad things happen in threes. Anyway what do you want?"

"To apologise about the supply closet and about Rizzo."

"No you want my report on your desk by the end of the day; this is just your gentle Reagan way of asking."

"Izaak and I don't have the case. Danny and Biaz do, Danny wants your report by the end of tomorrow."

"What do you mean your brother caught the case?" Eddie asked confused, "You and Izaak were the first Detectives on the scene. You work Anti-Organised Crime that's what this is isn't it?"

"It is Ed, but Rizzo was killed so it's major case. Danny is major case so he may have pulled some strings."

"The Commissioner?"

He knew the Commissioner wouldn't normally play favourites but this time he may have, but he continued to lie to her again. "He doesn't play favourites, the C.O.D gave him the case end of story."

"Jamie about Rizzo and what I said, he did go in first without me and I told him not to go. He said that the CPA needed to be taken down and then when I went in after him he was being held hostage by a member of the CPA. They shot him in the head in front of me and they told me what to say to the Detectives and then they scattered."

"Why didn't you fire your weapon?"

"I didn't load it. I forgot to load it this morning."

"And then you moved his body and lied to me and Izaak by saying he was shot by a sniper?"

Eddie nodded.

"You know what this could mean for you right?"

"It's what happened with the mobile phone all over again but ten times worse."

Jamie didn't know what to say, "Look, I'll talk to Danny. I can't make any promises – especially if Da-The Commissioner finds out."

"I know, this is my stupid-arse fault again and you know what I might just pack it in this time."

"If I could've done the same when Vinny died. I would've."

She shook her head, "I read the newspaper, I watch the news these two shootings were completely different Jamie. Your partner was shot in a gun fight, mine was shot inside a building with an open front door by a sniper. The two shootings completely different."  
"Vinny's death is basically why the CPA formed Eddie, maybe not directly but Vinny was the Commissioners sons partner. That's how it goes in Gotham Ed – bad guys around every corner. Write your report stick to the story you've got Ed, don't change a single word okay."

"But that could get me fired?"

"I know, but it won't. I'll talk to Danny," and he'll talk to Dad. "Okay?"

"Okay."

She leant against him for a moment before remembering that they weren't together, that they never had been and that he'd broken her heart. "Jamie?" Eddie asked.

"Yeah?"

"There is something you're not telling me. Maybe you're under super-secret instructions from the Commissioner or the Inspector 'I-have-no-idea-how-the-NYPD-works' General." She made crazy hand motions to express her dislike for the Inspector General. "But if it's because of me Jamie if this is all my fault don't not tell, maybe if I knew the truth, maybe I could help solve the problem."

"Look Eddie it isn't your fault it never was and I'm sorry I hurt you but all of this is because I love you."

The look on Eddie's face was a mix of emotions, the feelings erupting in Jamie were very much the same because right now it was clear, that Eddie's life hung in the balance of Jamie's actions from this point on.

* * *

**A/N - So I think this is a great development in the story, but it's a but cheesy because I was talked into watch Rookie Blue (which if you've never watched you should, it's like CBS's _NYC 22_ but better). So review with your opinions of the matters that have arose like Eddie's possible discharge from the NYPD, Rizzo's death or the fact that Jamie has admitted that he loves her. (BTW - Reviews make me write faster because of the ideas you provide).**

_**K. x**_


	4. Chapter 4

"YOU DID WHAT!" Danny shouted at Jamie.

Jamie stared his brother straight in the eyes, "What the hell could I do!"

"You could've made her fess up and lose her badge, at least then the CPA would lay off our backs and we could move on from this torture!"

"Boys, boys cut it now!" Frank voice was decisive as he prepared for the possibility of pulling his sons off each other, something he hadn't had to do for going on fifteen years.

"Dad," Danny pleaded.

Frank paced past him over to his desk, "Commissioner Reagan to you Detective." Frank paused to allow Danny to realise the real magnitude of the situation. "Jamie made a call, I'm not sure if it was the right one but he made it, so Daniel I suggest you live with it because he can't take it back." Frank paused, "Jamie how much does Eddie know?"

"She just knows that I told her to lie and keep the lie up, and, and that I do love her."  
Franks eyes closed as he rubbed his temple, "Jamie you need to tell her that she can't let anyone know, once the CPA knows they will kill her, you know that?"

"I know. I know, it's just how did it escalate this far, when did the CPA move from taking photos and destroying Erin's cases to threatening death on our family?"

"Because the members of the Citizens for Police Accountability believe that everything that is wrong with the Police Department is our fault and they want me to retire and they want both of you to leave the force."  
Danny laughed, "So basically, the CPA doesn't like the Irish Catholic Cop family that has served and protected this city for four generations?"

"Great, just great," Jamie breathed looking down over the city. "So what can we do Commissioner, the Mayor still wants you as PC I presume?"

"Jamie you know, that only four people know, that the threat was sent directly to me and that the threat was, that they will kill Eddie if you choose to love be with her if anyone of us don't choose to leave the force or if we release the details of the threat to the public. They'll presume it to be us believing that every member of this city as CPA."

"Terrorists hidden behind masks. From the moment the towers went down they became the new normal."

"Danny be thankful they aren't sleepers," Jamie suggested.

"The way they're acting Jame, they might as well be."

* * *

Eddie fumbled the key into the lock. Hell why had Jamie moved apartments the last one had way better doors and she could actually unlock the door the first time she tried. Either way back then they'd just been friends nothing more nothing less – unless you counted her feelings towards him and in light of recent events, maybe his too – and going to his apartment was to have a beer and watch a movie, like normal friends would; now however she wasn't so sure. She found the key to his apartment in her locker, with a piece of paper with Jamie's address scribbled on it.

Jamie's new apartment was covered in boxes, both closed and open, it was clear to Eddie that Jamie hadn't been here very long because he was a stickler for neat and tidy. There was also music blasting, she'd never thought Jamie would be a fan of hard rock, turns out she was mistaken as _Highway to Hell _blasted through the apartment.

"Hello?" she called out. Nothing, no reply.

A few moments later, Jamie walked into room, wearing nothing but a towel wrapped around his waist and with a toothbrush sticking out of his mouth. The moment his hazel eyes saw Eddie he froze, becoming completely aware that Eddie was standing there looking at him in his complete and utter state of undress.

"Get dressed, brush your teeth. I'll wait. Do you want me to order pizza?"

Jamie still looked shocked and managed to nod, before hurrying out of the room. Eddie smiled to herself, maybe the Jamie she knew never actually went away. Maybe when he said he loved her he was telling the truth.

* * *

They'd eaten the pizza in silence, both reeling, from what Eddie presumed, was what he had said on the back steps of the precinct the day before.

"Eddie about what I said, at the precinct, this afternoon," Jamie said awkwardly.

Eddie shook her head, "If you want to say you didn't mean it or that you meant it in the sense that we were just friends or that it was just a dream just leave it. I don't want to know Jame."

"Ed" Jamie said softly, "I did mean it. Every single word that I said I meant. I have loved you from the moment I saw that you were jealous of Dana, from that moment on I couldn't imagine not being with you but we were partners it was against the rules."

Eddie didn't even bother arguing about him making Detective and what could've happened then, what came to mind was when they'd kissed outside her apartment and the way she felt so safe in his arms and how she wanted to again.

"It's not against the rules now," Eddie replied trying to keep her voice steady.

Jamie sucked in a deep breath, "Yes it is. It always will be."

"Not if you don't want it to be and I know you don't want it to be," Eddie smiled as she closed the space between them on the sofa. Eddie slid her fingers into Jamie's; they were warm but rough like cement it didn't bother her though, it was part of Jamie and that was all that mattered.

"Eddie," Jamie paused. "Please don't say things you can't take back."

"I don't want to take anything back," though their last kiss was a distant memory, right now, Eddie could feel his lips on hers again, because it was something she didn't want to take back.

Jamie has always felt an attraction to Eddie her smile, her laugh, her compassion and especially her determination. Jamie also knew that he loved her, loved her in a way that made his relationship with Sydney look like lust and haste. Everything about being with Eddie could be the fun and happiness that he missed about being in love, but he also knew choosing her was selfish – no matter how much he loved her – because it could, no it would most likely get her killed by the CPA, he swallowed trying to suppress the tears that were forming.

"Then please don't let me regret this Edit," Jamie answered surprising Eddie.

Jamie has never called her by her first name and as she looked up into his hazel eyes, she saw the swelling tears she didn't understand where they were coming from. What on this planet would make Jamie cry, she'd never met a person as strong willed as Jamie, so why would he cry over something that she assumed he wanted to.

Her left hand to this point had been resting on Eddie's thigh idly, but she lifted it to Jamie's cheek as the tears broke. She pushed back all the questions she had about the tears, swallowed them, at least tried to make them disappear she didn't want them right now, she didn't need them right now.

Eddie rested her forehead against Jamie's, "I won't," she said it softly but with all the might she could muster because it was clearly important to him that she did.

A smile broke through Jamie's tears, it wasn't full of the laughter and fun Eddie usually found in his smiles, it was hope she found this time. However before she could wonder about it and maybe understand the whole crazy situation she was in with Jamie right now, Jamie had shifted his weight and caught her lips with his kissing her in way that felt like he never wanted to let her go again. Her response for some reason didn't surprise her, she just pulled him closer closing any space that did still exist between them, convincing him that she didn't want him to let her go again. Eddie could feel herself smiling against Jamie's as they parted. Jamie's hands let go of her and pulled her into a warm, protective embrace.

"Ed you need to promise me something or we can't go forward from this do you understand?"

"Yes," Eddie answered.

"If I tell you to run, if I tell you to hide, if I tell you to leave me and disappear you promise that you will?"

Her words caught on her tongue, "Jamie tell me what is going on?"

"Ed please just promise me those things."

She hesitated again, "I, I promise."

Jamie pressed his lips against her hair, "I promise you I will tell you what is happening, but right now I just want to pretend like it doesn't exist and that I can be happy and in love with you without being scared."

The words unsurprisingly didn't make Eddie feel relaxed about whatever was going on in Jamie's life, but it was her life to now and she knew that when and if she understands she wouldn't let it destroy them.

* * *

**A/N - I know the chapter isn't good continuation wise, especially with the first and last part, but I think it shows how Jamie is torn between loving Eddie, protecting her, his career and his family. I hope you enjoyed it and if you want to positively or negatively review this chapter fire away because good and bad criticism is honestly a writers bread and butter (and if you wanted to give suggestions on what direction I should head next). ****_K.x_**


End file.
